BUT, we are having some issues with Emily's preschool. Last Easter, Emily went completely around the bend when she got two handfuls of splinters. It took us a little while to get her to tell us that she wasn't as worried about them being pulled out or the pain, she was worried about dying. Why? Well, they had just read a story at school about how Jesus had nails in his hands and died. Splinters=nails to a 3 year old. I was outraged! How dare they tout their developmentally appropriate curriculum (less paper pencil, more everything else) when it is including extremely graphic bible stories. I am sure some don't agree with me (and Paul) but I do not feel that those details are necessary or appropriate for young children. I spoke to her teacher and then contacted the preschool director. Her teacher was very upset by it and felt terrible that Emily had any fears but the preschool director just went on and on about how wonderful heaven is in the story. "I tell them that the streets are paved with gold and everyone we love is there," she explained. Emily talked about death and dying as if it was imminent for a long time. So much so that we consulted an early childhood speaker (who presented AT the preschool/church) about how to handle it. She said that we should treat death and dying as if they are bad words. It is too abstract of a concept for them and that we just need to tell Emily that we don't talk about that. That we are not going to die and that she doesn't need to worry about it. She acknowledged that that, of course, is not entirely true but that the alternative is just too much.
Fast forward to Saturday as we were driving home from some errands. Emily started talking about Moses as a baby and Paul and I were floored. After we composed ourselves a little, Paul held the camera to record some of Emily's story telling.
Seriously?! Again, I am IRATE! I spoke to her teacher today who told me (just as her teacher did last year) that she has never had anyone bring this up before. She was extremely apologetic and very upset that Emily had internalized the story and was able to apply it to her life. Well, that is what Emily does! Emily listens. Emily thinks. Emily applies. Emily worries. WHY in the WORLD are those details being shared with 4 year olds?! I am sure some other kids are feeling the same way. Her teacher said that the "cutting of babies heads" was not in the story she read but that they did die. (I have since talked to Emily and she figured out that that's what was going to happen because the soldiers in the pictures had swords and ... yadda yadda.) Her teacher went on about all of the stories that are going to be read in the coming weeks and was horrified as she realized that they are all pretty violent. She is going to leave parts out and skim sections so that there isn't anything so terrible shared. She referenced Daniel in the lion's den and that she would just stop after Daniel got out and not finish the story with the other men being killed. WHAT?! She's telling me that if I hadn't voiced concern she would have read that part?! WHY?! Daniel was faithful, Daniel prayed, Daniel was saved by God's grace and mercy. END OF STORY!
If these were TV shows, books, or movies parents would DEMAND a strong rating and parents would not sit their kids down to watch or hear about baby boys being killed! I welcome someone to talk to me about my daughter's obsession with princesses and the poor image/role models they are for her! Because, trust me, she needs a "happily ever after" to escape to while she worries about terrible soldiers coming after her baby brother!
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12 comments:
I would be outraged too!!! You don't take kids to R rated movies so why would you expose them to Bible stories with so much death and dying.
The big problem is that Emily is so smart. She listens and understands and internalizes everything. Most kids her age are not that smart.
I also disagree with the expert on dying and young kids. I think lying to kids about dying is unrealistic. Death is part of life. We have all worried about dying in some part of our life.
candacej0217@yahoo.com
OMG, I am floored. But you are right. The other kids probably would not think that deeply about it. Emily is so much smarter than your average 4-year-old. And the fact that she has a baby brother made the story hit home. I'm glad you spoke up to the teacher and preschool director. So sorry this happened.
Wow -- this is a tough one. I hope it works out and you can find a space and a place where Emily can learn and grow that is right for her.
Wow. That broke my heart a little.
Pull her out of there immediately! There are PLENTY of other programs out there. Find one that fits with your opinions and beliefs!!!! Don't hesitate!
Oh wow, I'm glad you talked to the teacher about what bothered you...I hope Emily starts to think about happier things and you guys are able to move forward soon!
I agree, find a program that's right for your family.
This makes me crazy!!! I don't know WHY "Christians" feel the need to concentrate on the old testament! HELLO, should be talking about things Christ did and talked about not ridiculous fairy tales from centuries ago used to frighten people into allegiance and good behavior!
Emily is VERY smart, shouldn't be a handicap to peaceful sleep! Grrrrr!
Extra big hugs for our sweet, sweet girl!!
This is one of the reasons of many, many I don't go to Church or follow the path of religious fanatics! The school didn't seem that upset about it either. Poor Emily (you guys too). I hope she's back on track with her Princess, Fairies and happily ever afters soon!
Oh, crickey. That's sounds terrible. Sounds like you've found a school that might be great, but not great for Emily. You know that some pedagogies work for some kids, some don't. And it sounds like Emily is too smart for that place. Have you thought about a Montessori or a Waldorf school? My southern California geography stinks, but I have a colleague whose kids went to a Waldorf school nearish to Huntington Beach, and she and her kids loved it. Her kids are 6 and 8 now, and are smart and well-adjusted. Don't know if that's the home life or the school, but just a thought.
Ugh-we had the same issues with Elizabeh. I always skipped many many parts in our children's bible but the first time we visited the Catholic Church and she saw Jesus on the cross....she talked of nothing else for months. Every question you could think of, she asked.I feel for you. Both my kids when to a Christian preschool but never once were any of the Old Testament stories talked about in any graphic way. It may be time to look around...
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